Makes My Hair Stand on End!

“No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.” –Lily Tomlin

Oh crap. Things like this could give us all hernias. Or maybe ulcers? I’m embarrassed to say I know at least one person who seems to regard the Donald as a serious candidate for president — and I’m not about to ask my benighted right-wing family! I like a joke as well as anyone. But damn it, some things are simply too stupid to be funny!

One thing worries me though. A rash promise like this could gain the fool a million votes. Maybe more. Style means so much more to many of us than substance, after all. Stay tuned — we can’t even guess how much sillier things will get. If anybody’s headed for New Zealand, I’ve got lots of tunes for the road, and I’ll gladly chip in for gas.


Donald Trump says if he’s elected president he will change his hairstyle

Daily Kos * Mon Jun 29, 2015 at 08:52 AM PDT

by Hunter

Leadership. Integrity. Spray. He’ll defeat ISIS single-handedly. He’ll build a wall on our southern border and make Mexico pay for it. He’d change his hair.

block quote

WINTERSET, Ia. – Donald Trump says if he gets elected president, he would have to change his hair style because he wouldn’t have time to maintain it, as he would be working his butt off in the White House.

block quote end

Now there’s a lede. File this under Elections, Our Modern, and also under promises President Donald Trump would never be able to keep. Donald Trump without his hair helmet would be like Rick Santorum without his sanctimoniousness. Without his defining feature he’d just be an everyday, normal asshole.

block quote

“I would probably comb my hair back. Why? Because this thing is too hard to comb,” he said. “I wouldn’t have time, because if I were in the White House, I’d be working my ass off.”

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What? He doesn’t have people for that? Hiring on a new staff to comb President Trump’s hair seems like one of those shovel-ready projects we’re always going on about. Create those jobs, Mr. Job Creator.

He’s almost certainly going to be in the first debate, you know. This is going to be so, so wonderful.


About l. l. frederick

I'm pretty ordinary, so I find any number of things in the world interesting, among them: books, music, flowers, food, social justice, politics and (sometimes!) people. As for my writing, I've decided that I can be subtle and tasteful when our only problems are esthetic ones. Or when I'm dead, whichever comes first. In the meantime, read at your own risk.
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15 Responses to Makes My Hair Stand on End!

  1. I can’t believe he deliberately styles his hair like that – it’s disgusting. He definitely gives narcissism a bad name.

  2. Linda, don’t be so hard on ‘The Donald’. What we consider to be a ‘bad hair day’ is a work of art to ‘The Donald’ and if not meticulously kept, would then resemble, heaven forbid, a bad hair day. Now, to know that he would ignore his trademark ‘do’ because he would just be SO hard at work building a fence and bullying Mexico into paying for it while at the same time, spewing racist remarks to all and sundry AND, single-handedly defeating ISIS, why that is quite moving me to consider voting for him. Diligence of that magnitude must be rewarded.

    And please know that I am being sarcastic as hell. LOL!

    I really like this one Linda!

    • Shelby, Me too — it’s too bizarre! Sometimes this shit just falls in your lap, and you’ve got to do SOMETHING with it. I’d say the simple thing would be for the poor zhlub to shave his head … but could that look even worse? Doesn’t bear thinking of.
      Thanks for commenting, and I won’t tell … a certain other candidate … that your loyalty might be wavering. I know you’ll do the right thing! – Linda

  3. sojourner says:

    Why would any fully functioning human being take part in this ludicrous bullshit, this asinine farce referred to as a presidential election year? The list of incompetent, criminal assholes grows daily, and the Pavlovian masses continue to salivate.

    Tear it all down, down to the ground!

    And then Mericans are arrogantly stupid enough to question why the world looks at them as though they are side show freaks!

    Sorry, Linda! I made a promise to myself not to post anything on this particular subject, so I need somewhere to blow off steam before I go nutzoid!

    • No problem Sojourner — we can’t have you going nutzoid on us, there’s more than enough of that as it is! As you know, I’m all too apt to shout a bit myself, especially when things are just too outrageous. Which feels like it’s pretty much the norm these days. Thanks for letting me know I’m not the only ranter on the block. – Linda

  4. A great post, Linda! Honestly, I thought state politicians had a corner on being stupid and out-of-touch on levels that were inconceivable, but the collection of clowns on the 2016 slate is unbelievable! I am so tired of candidates who remind me of the old Stealers Wheel song – “Stuck in the middle with you”:

    • Carol, Guess they think enough of us are ready for we-ain’t-seen-nothing-yet stupid, no matter how obvious and unbelievable it is. And I’m more than a little afraid they’re correct. In fact, it almost seems as if there are quite a few of us who actively prefer dumb and dangerous politicians. I don’t get that, but there’s so much I never get! Hell, they may crank out candidates who’ll make Trump look reasonable by comparison! And they WILL draw supporters. Jeffrey Dommer and Ted Bundy had groupies too. Some days, I’m surprised homo sapiens has survived this long. And for the near future? … all bets are off. Still, long shots do come through now and then, and I can’t see ‘all the people’ being fooled forever. I just hope we still have a livable planet by the time awareness reaches enough of us. Thanks for your comment — and for getting that song stuck in the middle of my head! – Linda

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